Fic: Shatter The Walls For A New Sun {3/10}

Title Shatter The Walls For A New Sun 3/10
Rating PG-13 (will go up in later chapters)
Word Count 4,900/20,000
Summary AU in which Blaine was raised by highly religious parents and escapes to NYC with Quinn, moving in next door to Rachel and Kurt. (Alternately: Bible!Blaine meets NYC!Kurt. Shit happens.)
Notes Warnings for broken bones and swearing that goes along with broken bones (I didn’t want to bump up the rating yet for some reason over f-bombs which is stupid because SEX IS COMING. SPOILER ALERT. sigh….) Look, you still got fic on Tuesday. Yay cheers!

Prologue // One // Two // LJ // AO3 

*

“Have you booked your plane ticket back to Ohio for Thanksgiving yet? You’re running out of time!” Rachel asks one night over Chinese food. They both got home late and should already be in bed, but Kurt is starving. He doesn’t care what price he’ll have to pay for eating greasy food this late.

“No, I think I’m staying here this year. I’ll definitely go home for Christmas, but it’s too quick of a trip and Isabelle might be going into the office on Friday, so I might pop in for a few hours - I just really wish they’d hire me already,” Kurt says with a sigh, plopping down next to Rachel on the couch, his mind drifting back to the conversation he had with Isabelle two months ago - about how she really wanted to hire him, but it wasn’t in the budget yet and they were going to have to keep him on as an intern and hope that something came up in the next six months. (Which is complete and utter bullshit, in Kurt’s opinion. It’s Vogue. There are plenty of people there with nonsense titles. He’s not even sure what half the people in the dot-com department do, at least officially.)

“You sure it has nothing to do with the fact that Quinn and Blaine are staying in the city for the holiday? The fact that they’ll be all alone?” Rachel asks, narrowing her eyes over her rice and Kurt gasps.

“Of course not. I can’t believe you think I’d put something like a crush over professional integrity.” He stabs a piece of chicken with his chopstick - he’s known how to use chopsticks for years, but the urge feels good. Really good.

“So you do like Blaine! I knew it!” Rachel squeals delightedly, clapping her own chopsticks together with her fingers.

“I thought that was already public knowledge. Where have you been?” Kurt mutters, throwing down the carton and picking up another.

“You’ve never actually said it before. Confirmation is progress.” They sit and eat in silence, Rachel finally saying, “Wait, so if you like Blaine and Blaine likes you, why aren’t the two of you actually together?”

It’s Kurt’s turn to side eye Rachel. “How do you know Blaine likes me?”

“He told me!” she says matter of factly, popping half a spring roll in her mouth, and god, they are hopeless, aren’t they? Utterly hopeless.

“What did he - no, wait, don’t tell me anything,” Kurt says, changing his mind at the last minute. Because Rachel will tell him everything if he asks, and Blaine deserves some semblance of privacy. (See? That whole thing about wanting to be a better person when it comes to Blaine is ringing true.)

“Okay,” Rachel replies, regarding him thoughtfully before adding, “but he’s not going to make the first move. He’s really not. You’ll be waiting until 2025, or something before that happens. So, Kurt Hummel, what are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know,” he says finally, but at least he doesn’t have to be in a rush to figure it out.

He gets it in his head that he doesn’t just want to talk to Blaine - he wants to make some sort of gesture. Something … special. Memorable. The idea finally comes to him when he hears two of the Teen Vogue interns trying to sound cool and complaining about tourists over the coffee pot (which only the interns from Teen Vogue use - everyone else goes out for coffee).

“Ugh, and like, it’s only going to get worse. They put the tree up in Rockefeller Center this morning. What an eyesore. It’ll be even busier when it gets lit.”

Blaine’s never experienced Christmas in New York before and Kurt knows his first Christmas away from home is going to be rough. Sure, a giant tree in the middle of New York City is a goddamn eyesore, but if it doesn’t scream too much in the way New York is exactly too much - well, he doesn’t know what does.

He quickly sends Blaine a text. Hey, I know it’s short notice, but I was wondering if you could come into the city early today and meet me for lunch? Something I want to show you!

Kurt gets back a twelve-thirty with a question mark and a smiley face and then pops his head into Isabelle’s office to make sure it’s okay to take a full hour at that time. “Isabelle? Is it okay if I take lunch at twelve-thirty today? Blaine was going to meet me if that’s okay.”

“Is he your boyfriend yet?” she asks, not looking up from the screen of her tablet, and when he doesn’t answer, she sighs.

“Well, no, but I was hoping to change that today. Or at least make serious progress.”

“Well, sweetie, in that case, take all the time you need,” she says with a wink, and Kurt texts Blaine back confirmation once he’s at his desk.

Kurt tries to work, but instead, just worries about what he’s going to say to Blaine. He knows he should just speak from the heart - Blaine has listened to his crazy before, but he just doesn’t want to sound even crazier.

He leaves his desk at twelve-twenty-five, stopping in the restroom on the way out to splash water on his face and fix his hair and take a few deep breaths. He can do this. Why is he having such a nervous breakdown? He is Kurt Hummel, for crying out loud.

Kurt finds Blaine waiting outside the building, leaning up against the wall and checking something on his phone. “I hope you haven’t been waiting long,” Kurt chastises, because he would have come down early.

“No, not at all,” Blaine says with a smile, pocketing his phone. “Where did you want to go for lunch?”

It’s Kurt’s turn to grin. “I figured we could just grab something off the street, because like I said, there’s something I really want to show you. We can walk, it’s just around the corner.” They start off down 42nd Street, turning onto 6th, and Kurt figures he should start talking before they get there.

“I know Christmas means a lot to you and Quinn for obvious reasons, but it has a lot of meaning to me too, even if I don’t celebrate the religious aspects. It means being there for family and friends, and I know you and Quinn won’t have family this year, so I was hoping I could try and show you some things that make New York special around the holidays to make this feel a little more like home to you.”

Blaine stops in his tracks. “Kurt,” he says, his voice thick with emotion.

Kurt laughs and reaches out for his hand. “We only have an hour, Blaine, there’s no time to stop now.” They continue to walk down 6th Avenue hand in hand, Blaine’s a solid weight in his, and Kurt’s glad that the sun came out so he could leave his gloves at the office. They turn down 49th, and Kurt can see the top of the tree already, but Blaine doesn’t know what he’s looking for, so he doesn’t spot it, and Kurt keeps them across the street where they have a good vantage point for looking away from tourists at first.

“Is that … real?” Blaine asks when he finally does catch a glimpse of it, and Kurt pulls them out of the way of moving foot traffic to gawk.

“Yep. They light it every year the week after Thanksgiving but it takes them forever to get it ready. I thought it would make you smile today.” Kurt glances over at Blaine’s awestruck face and can’t help grinning. He really could care less about the tree, but he knew Blaine would get a kick out of it, and that’s why he wanted to come. He hopes he can explain some of that to Blaine when they’re closer to the tree. About how Blaine makes him feel things like that - things he’s never felt with someone else before.

“It’s the biggest Christmas tree I’ve ever seen.”

“Do you want to get a better look?” Kurt asks, stepping away from their safe space without thinking and out into the sidewalk, where he’s sideswiped by a messenger bicycle. Both tires run completely over his left set of toes and he hears something crunch; whether it’s the leather of his loafer or the actual bones of his toes, he’s unsure. He’s frozen to the spot, and his face must look pained because Blaine rushes to his side.

“Kurt - are you okay, oh, oh, that guy, he just ran over your foot!” Blaine blurts out, brow furrowing with worry, and Kurt tries to bear weight on his foot, crying out a litany of swears instead of telling Blaine he knows, he was there like he intended.

“Blaine - Blaine, honey, get a cab, I think something’s broken,” Kurt says through gritted teeth, gripping onto Blaine’s shoulder for support, and he’s looking at him horrified, probably because Kurt just told him something is broken and, Kurt just realizes, Blaine’s never hailed a cab before in his life. “Okay, get me to the corner and I’ll help you.”

Thankfully, some kind soul takes pity on them and flags down a cab and even knows there’s a hospital over in Lenox Hill, which is enough to get the cab driver going and Blaine searching for the exact address on his phone. Kurt’s never broken anything before, so he really has no clue if he has (he stuck to tea parties as a kid, not climbing things, okay?), but the pain is growing intense, and he’s laying across the bench of the cab trying to elevate his foot in Blaine’s lap. He quickly pulls out his own cell phone to call Isabelle. “Kurt,” she purrs when she answers. “Do you need more time with loverboy? I can give you another half an hour!”

“No, some asshole on a bike ran over my foot across the street from Rockefeller Center and I think I broke my foot - oh god, Blaine, pull off my shoe before my foot swells too much, I’m not letting them cut Ferragamo off of me at the ER, ah, fuck, fuck, thanks - sorry, I - I have no idea if I’ll be back today.”

“Oh my god, honey, those messengers are complete jerks with no concern for other people, I’m so sorry! You take care of yourself. Take tomorrow too and rest all weekend, we’ll see you Monday, okay?”

Luckily, they don’t have to wait long at the ER, and it turns out his second and third toe are both broken and displaced, and he’s really, really glad Blaine decided to call into work today. “Like I would leave you here alone,” Blaine scoffed when he stepped outside to call the church back in the waiting room. Despite the numbing shot they give him before resetting his toes and the pain pill, he still feels like he’s going to throw up when it happens, and he appreciates having Blaine’s hand to squeeze onto. Blaine laughs at the face he gives the nurse when she’s discharging him, telling him to wear shoes with good traction but soft uppers, like tennis shoes, as much as possible for the next six weeks.

Like Kurt Hummel owns things such as tennis shoes. Like he would show up at work wearing such things if he did.

Blaine takes Kurt’s prescriptions and discharge papers and puts them in his bag, realizing a bit belatedly that all of Kurt’s things aside from his cell phone are back at work. They give him crutches, which Kurt can’t really get the hang of, and he thinks they just gave him so they could bill his insurance. He saw the lady’s face at reception when she ran his insurance card. Plus, it’s a much better idea to hang onto Blaine, arm looped around his waist tightly so he doesn’t fall.

They take a cab to the nearest J, and Kurt is thankful they’ve found a semi-deserted car so he can elevate his foot on the seat across from them. He drifts off a bit with the jostling of the train, because whatever they gave him made him quite sleepy and Blaine’s cologne smells so good and his chest is so warm. His hands grip Blaine’s coat like a vice to anchor him, and if Blaine’s uncomfortable, he never says, his left arm looping around Kurt’s back, fingers splayed wide to keep him close.

They wait for his pills at the pharmacy once they’re in Bushwick - two more heavy duty pain pills for tonight and then extra strength Motrin for the next few weeks - and they pick up gauze and tape and ice packs Kurt’s really glad Blaine remembered everything. He was listening but he’s sure he’d forget something and have to come back later. They head back to Blaine’s apartment, since Kurt doesn’t have his keys, and Blaine sets him up in his bed, pillows under his foot with an ice pack on top, from Blaine and Quinn’s freezer while the new ones set up. Blaine pulls open his laptop and orders them pizza, since they never even did get to eat lunch.

He didn’t realize Blaine actually had a bed now, as opposed to just the futon. He’s laying in Blaine Anderson’s bed, he thinks to himself, giggling, and Blaine shoots him an amused look from behind his laptop at the kitchen table. “You okay over there?”

“Yeah, I’m just going to … call my dad and let him know I’m okay,” he decides, because he’s got to get a handle on himself and he really should let him know what happened. “Dad!” he says when Burt answers his cell phone. It’s Thursday, late afternoon, so he’s not really sure where he is - but he assumes somewhere in DC. “I don’t want you to panic, because I’m okay, but I broke two of my toes.”

“You … what? Hang on, lemme sit down … how’d that happen?” Kurt can hear papers rustling in the background.

“Some guy ran me over with his bike, but I’m okay, promise, Blaine is with me, remember Blaine? I told you about Blaine. He took me to the ER and they fixed me up.”

“The super religious kid that lives next door?” Kurt can hear the smile in his voice. He loves his dad’s smile. It’s one of the things he misses most when he’s in New York.

“That’s the one! And my keys are at Vogue so I’m at his apartment waiting for Rachel to get home. And he has me in bed with my foot propped up and ice so he’s taking good care of me.”

“That’s … that’s good.” He can tell his dad is still smiling at him; he might even be laughing. “Do you think I could talk to him? And we’ll talk tomorrow?”

They exchange goodbyes and I love yous before Kurt calls Blaine over and hands him the phone. “My dad wants to talk to you,” he whispers furtively, and he sees Blaine gulp before clearing his throat and saying, “Hi, Mr. Hummel,” into Kurt’s phone. Blaine sits on the edge of the bed and tells Burt the full story of what happened and what the doctors and nurses at the ER said (and okay, he sees why Blaine was asked for, so many details he can’t be bothered with right now), and he feels good, not just from the pain medication that’s currently in his system. He feels warm and safe here with Blaine and he’s not sure what he would have done if he’d been alone or, oh god, worse with Rachel earlier. He wishes Blaine would lie down with him and cuddle, because Blaine was so cuddly on the train, but he has enough sense to know he shouldn’t say that out loud.

Their pizza arrives shortly after Blaine gets off the phone, and Kurt eats and takes more pills, and sleeps, because Blaine’s bed is so cozy and smells like him, and if he can’t cuddle with Blaine, his pillow is the next best thing. At some point, Quinn comes home because he wakes up to her sitting beside him and patting his arm comfortingly. “You poor, poor thing,” she says, dropping a kiss to his temple, before leaving him to sleep some more and talk to Blaine.

Rachel finally arrives, coming straight to 3B after school (Blaine must have texted her), and he sits up when all three of them are standing around the bed. “How did this happen to me out of everyone standing in this room?” he grumbles and they laugh at him. Probably with him, but his pills are starting to wear off and he’s just uncomfortable and irritable and it’s been such a long day, and wow, his mood changed fairly quickly. He wonders how long he’s been out.

“Come on,” Blaine says, helping him maneuver so he’s sitting on the side of the bed. He holds out a pill and a glass of water. “You have one last happy pill left, take it and move to the couch and eat some more pizza. You slept for hours, you’re probably stiff and just need to get up and move.”

Kurt shakes his head to rid it of the thought of stiff body parts in Blaine’s bed and gulps the pill down, letting Blaine help him to the couch. Rachel gives him a giant hug before he’s allowed to sit down and she munches on a slice as well as Blaine tells the tale for hopefully the last time.

As Blaine talks about the stupid Christmas tree, it’s really setting in for Kurt how horribly wrong the whole day went; how he didn’t get to tell Blaine a single thing he wanted to, and how he feels like a complete and utter idiot. Suddenly, Kurt wants nothing more than to go next door and curl up in his own bed and talk to Rachel about everything, about the rest of the story that Blaine isn’t going to tell her.

Rachel can sense it, bless her, because she looks over at him and asks, “You okay?” She takes his empty plate from him, setting it on the coffee table.

“Yeah, I’m just exhausted and think I want to go next door and change out of these clothes and go to bed for real.” He offers them all a small smile and Blaine offers to help him, Rachel gathering his pills and paperwork and crutches from the hospital. Blaine waits while he changes in the bathroom and when he comes out, Blaine and Rachel are whispering furtively but he can’t really be bothered with what they’re talking about.

Blaine helps him into bed and squeezes his hand before he goes. “Feel better, Kurt.” He watches as Blaine walks to the door, and Rachel walks over, a sad smile on her lips.

“Are you okay? Seriously?”

“Yeah.” He pauses a minute, slipping his eyes shut and letting Blaine leave first. “I just - I wanted to kiss him. I wanted it to be perfect and it was such a mess instead.”

“Oh - give me a minute,” he hears her reply, and she’s far away, and the door clicks open -

Great. Blaine hasn’t left yet. Kurt wants to die.

Or, alternately, fall into a deep, drug-induced sleep, which is the closest solution he has.

***

Kurt doesn’t mean to avoid Blaine over the next few days.

Okay, he kind of does. But really, he doesn’t have to try very hard to do it.

Friday he stays in bed most of the day, catching up on bad TV on his laptop and calling his dad back and catching him up until Rachel gets home. Saturday they trek into the city to see how his commute might go and she helps him go shopping for shoes. The only shoes that he’s able to squeeze his swollen foot into comfortably are his McQueen velvet loafers and he is not going to ruin them by overuse, especially when the snow might start up any minute. He tries to get used to the crutches and mostly just gets frustrated, but he knows he has to because of all of the goddamn commuting he does. He picks up four pairs of soft leather driving moccasins, praising the fashion gods that they’re in style this winter, and he should be happy, buying for pairs of shoes at once. Instead, knowing that he’s going to be resigned to the same four pairs of shoes for the next month plus is killing him inside.

He and Blaine text a little, but Kurt keeps it brief and rebuffs any attempts to try and meet up over the weekend and into the next week. It takes forever for him to actually do anything, so he’s leaving the apartment earlier and getting home later because his commute just takes longer and he’s tired. Kurt’s just so tired and in pain and he doesn’t really want to deal with anything and he knows Blaine overheard what was meant for Rachel and he’s aware he’s being stupid about the whole thing. A few days turn into a week, and then Cooper shows up for his visit, and Blaine’s busy and Kurt doesn’t need an excuse anymore.

That’s when he starts to feel really kind of moronic. He wakes up on Sunday - nine days after everything occurred - and realized enough is enough. He can’t fix things with Blaine today but he can stop moping around.

Rachel’s at NYADA, getting in an extra day of practice since she flies back to Ohio for Thanksgiving on Wednesday, so he takes an extra long shower and takes time picking out one of his favorite outfits. He puts on the bright red moccasins, which are undoubtedly the best out of the four he has to choose from, and grabs his crutches, which he only has to use on long treks outside now. He’s able to hobble and maneuver around the loft and the office without them for the most part. See? Things are looking up.

He’s not quite sure what he’s going to do with his day aside from getting out of the loft. Coffee, sure. The park is kind of a stretch, but he could sit on a bench and people watch once he’s there. He fumbles out of the door, resting his crutches on the wall while he locks the door when he hears footsteps on the stairs.

“Kurt Hummel! Just the person I wanted to see!” Kurt turns to see Cooper standing on the landing, grinning that same stupid grin he gives everyone, which he doesn’t find nearly as charming now that he’s spent more than five seconds with the man.

“I - aren’t you here to see Blaine?” Kurt asks, shoving the keys in his pocket and hobbling over to the railing near where Cooper is.

“No, actually, Blaine thinks I’m at church. Don’t tell him.” Cooper winks, and oh god, is Cooper a fake televangelist? “I’ll try to find someplace tonight to go, but even if I don’t - this was more important. Can I buy you a cup of coffee?”

Okay, maybe not so fake, which makes Kurt feel like he has no choice but to go, especially since he was going to get coffee anyway. “Alright, sure.”

Kurt must be moving far too slow for Cooper because he doesn’t ask Kurt any questions, just continually looks all of the passers-by on the street in the eye and tells them hello or good morning and okay, Kurt’s beginning to see why Blaine might have issues with Cooper’s approach. He’s afraid Cooper’s going to proselytize the florist on the street corner if she doesn’t start averting her gaze quickly and she’s got a giant Buddha hanging on the wall.

They make it to the bakery unscathed though and Kurt stands in line because he doesn’t trust Cooper to listen long enough to get his drink order right. Cooper does have enough sense to pick them both up from the bar, telling Kurt to grab a table, and when he sits down, he finally gets enough sense to ask Kurt how he is.

“Oh!” Kurt accepts his coffee cup from Cooper before answering, because he really didn’t think they were going to talk about him at all. “I’m, well, I’m doing better I suppose. It’s more annoying than anything. Thanks for asking.”

Cooper looks proud of himself, as if he’s done Kurt a life-saving favor as opposed to asking a simple question. “I wanted to talk to you about Blaine. Blaine hasn’t had a lot go right for him, especially in the last few years, at no help to me or Mom or Dad, so when he said things had gotten messed up between you guys, I thought I would try and make things right. Blaine doesn’t know I’m here, but people turn to me for help all the time, Kurt.”

Kurt hopes his face isn’t one of complete and utter horrification. “Cooper … that’s … really nice of you, but I think I’ve got it under control.”

“Really?” Cooper says, looking confused. “Because Blaine said you two have barely spoken in over a week and well, he’s really upset about it. That doesn’t sound under control to me.”

“Okay, okay, that’s totally my fault,” Kurt retorts. “I … was being a jerk. Breaking two toes will do that to you. I realize that now and I’m going to fix it. I was going to wait until you were gone.”

“No point in that,” Cooper replies, breaking a piece off a blueberry muffin and popping it in his mouth. “Call him now.”

“I’m not calling him in front of you.” He sips his mocha silently, realizing Cooper’s not going to relent until he does something, so he pulls out his phone to send Blaine a text. Hi. How is Cooper’s visit going?

He waits for the reply, and Cooper triumphantly grins. “I don’t want to get too deep, because I know you don’t share our faith, Kurt, and Blaine was extremely worried about me scaring you off - I might have said something to him about me talking to you and he flipped out on me and then I went behind his back and did it anyway, because really, I know what I’m talking about here! - but I really think you were sent to Blaine for a reason, at a time when he needs someone like you. I mean, New York is filled with millions of people and he moved next door to you, who I can tell he shares an emotional connection with from the little time I’ve spent with you. That wasn’t a coincidence.”

Kurt stares blankly at Cooper for a moment because he wasn’t entirely sure Cooper was capable of thought-provoking thoughts like this. Every time he had watched Cooper’s program on CNT, knowing what little about religion he did, he felt the program was a bit of superficial fluff designed to rake in as many donations as possible. Kurt’s phone buzzes with a reply text from Blaine, breaking his concentration. Yeah everyone’s been behaving. :) How are you? How’s your foot?

He quickly types out a reply (Getting better. I’m sorry I’ve been so short with you. Can you come over sometime this week after Cooper leaves? I’ll make it up to you and we’ll have dinner and talk.) before regarding Cooper finally. “Aren’t you worried about your brother being with someone who doesn’t share the same faith as him, as you put it?” he asks bluntly.

Cooper laughs loudly. “If he still has a relationship with God after everything that happened in California, you’re not going to change that, Kurt, no offense.”

“Point taken,” Kurt states, a small smile curling on his lips as he takes a sip of his mocha. His phone already has another message from Blaine - Kurt that’s not necessary and don’t apologize.

Well I think it is. He leaves tomorrow? Are you free after work?

“I know you and Blaine don’t always see eye to eye, Cooper, but you’re a good brother,” Kurt offers, partially because underneath the layers of bullshit, it really is true, and partially because he knows Cooper wants to hear it. “Please, though, whatever you do, can you not tell him we talked? I really was going to speak with him, I swear.”

Cooper grins again, and god, these Anderson boys and their smiles. Kurt’s utterly helpless around them. Another message comes through Kurt’s phone, a simple Yes and Kurt can see the iMessage dots hover and disappear, as if Blaine can’t decide if he can say something else and finally I missed you comes through.

I missed you too. We’ll talk tomorrow okay? Kurt types out in response, wondering how fast he can get rid of Cooper. He’s cooking Blaine dinner tomorrow night and there’s no way things are going wrong this time around.