Fic: Shatter The Walls For A New Sun {4/10}

Title Shatter The Walls For A New Sun 4/10
Rating R (will go up in later chapters)
Word Count 7,900/27,900
Summary AU in which Blaine was raised by highly religious parents and escapes to NYC with Quinn, moving in next door to Rachel and Kurt. (Alternately: Bible!Blaine meets NYC!Kurt. Shit happens.)
Warnings Note the increased rating for discussions of sexual situations. Inaccuracies as far as how magazines are actually run, I’m sure, despite my google-fu. ETA: I guess I should be warning for innocence kink-ish stuff too, my bad. COVERING ALL THE BASES.
Notes So, I’ve been updating this fairly frequently, throwing this at you all as I go (and I’m not quite sure what’s possessed me, if I figure it out, I’ll share, swear), but as a warning, the next update will probably be later than most as I’m going out of town this weekend. I’ve left you in a good place though, I promise. ;) Look at all of those glorious words to tide you over until I return!

Prologue // One // Two // Three // LJ // AO3 


Kurt spends the rest of Sunday planning the perfect meal for him and Blaine for the following night, as well as begging Rachel to stay late at NYADA or make plans to be otherwise engaged, giving them a little privacy. Luckily, Mondays are usually late nights at school for her so she doesn’t have to plan on too much else, and Kurt spends the whole morning at work Monday filled with nervous energy. He isn’t worried this time like before though, he’s almost excited with the promise of what’s to come. When Isabelle calls him into her office late that afternoon, he’s not even worried because he’s too worked up until he sees the look on her face.

“Is … everything alright?” he asks, sitting down in front of her, his hands starting to fidget a little.

“Of course, Kurt, I just wanted to speak to you a little about your future here at,” she says, and he takes a calming breath. Of all of the days for this conversation to happen. She stares at him seriously for a moment and then breaks into a smile. “Oh, I can’t keep up the charade any longer! We found a position for you! No more interning! Starting next Monday you’re officially our Social Media Assistant and you’ll be working with Sarah to revamp our Twitter and Tumblr and Facebook and all that good stuff and they let me keep you, Kurt!”

She jumps up from behind her desk to hug him tightly, and Kurt’s just kind of speechless, because that was not the direction he thought this was going to go in. “Are - are you serious?”

The next few hours are a blur of congratulations from everyone in the department and there’s champagne at three o’clock in the afternoon and everyone looks the other way when Isabelle hands Kurt a glass. The buzz wears off by the time he reaches Bushwick, but he opens a bottle of white wine that’s hiding in the back of the fridge once he gets home as he prepares dinner for him and Blaine because holy shit, he actually works at Vogue now. Sure, he had one of the rare and few paid long term internships before all of this, but he still didn’t think he’d actually get hired - he thought for sure he’d be shifted to one of the other, less fabulous publications, and really, who wants to make a name for themselves at Self? Blaine texts him when he gets on the train and Kurt lets him know he’s cooking and he has excellent news, but his hands are busy, so he should just show up.

Blaine knocks on the door and Kurt walks to the door far faster than he should on his still-sore foot. He slides it open it to find Blaine standing on the other side with a small bouquet of flowers, smiling sheepishly at him. He’s wearing one of the bow ties they picked out, the black and white checkered one, and he couldn’t look more adorable if he tried. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. In case I did anything to make you upset. Well, and then you said you had excellent news, so they’re preemptive.”

Kurt wants to kiss him right then and there in the doorway. It takes all the restraint he has to blurt out, “Vogue hired me!” instead, taking the flowers from Blaine so he doesn’t crush them when he reaches around his shoulders in a warm embrace, Blaine squeezing him tighter when he does. His lungs expand as he breathes in deep, and he doesn’t want to exhale, doesn’t want to let his breath go, because once he does, the moment will pass and Blaine will pull back and Kurt just wants to cherish this little slice of perfection for as long as he possibly can.

When he finally does, Blaine’s smile is wide and warm and he says, “I am so, so happy for you, and I’m so glad they finally came to their senses, because there’s no one who deserves it more than you, and I’m really glad I stopped for the flowers now.” They share a laugh and Kurt ushers him inside, shutting the door before he heads to the kitchen to find a vase for the flowers.

“You’re the first person I’ve told,” Kurt says, arranging the flowers artfully and setting them on the table. Kurt knows he could have called other people on the ride home - his dad, Rachel - but they were at work and school and might not have answered and he really didn’t want them calling back during his night with Blaine. They can wait.

“I feel so flattered,” Blaine says, still grinning as he wanders around the kitchen, and he picks up Kurt’s almost empty glass of wine.

“You don’t mind if I drink, do you?” Kurt asks, suddenly worried - he didn’t even think about Blaine’s reaction when he opened the bottle. He hopes he’s not one of those Christians who’s against alcohol.

“Ah, no,” Blaine replies, and is he blushing? “I was wondering if I could maybe try it? And then if I like it I could share the rest of the bottle with you? Since we’re celebrating, after all.”

Kurt nods slowly and watches as Blaine takes a sip from his glass, eyes trained on his throat as he swallows, as his Adam’s apple bobs and Kurt’s breath hitches. “Blaine Anderson, is that the first alcohol that’s ever touched your lips?” he asks, and when Blaine nods himself, Kurt groans ruefully. “I’m corrupting you. I know I’m not the best influence as a friend, but this is the first time I’m actually corrupting you.”

He heads to grab Blaine another glass, realizing for the rest of the night he’s not going to be able to forget about the way Blaine’s lips were wrapped around his, and Blaine ducks his head, laughing at his words. “You’re not corrupting me. I’m the one who asked!”

“You’re just trying to make me feel better,” Kurt says softly as he moves next to Blaine, reaching for the bottle to pour wine into both of their glasses. Blaine always tries to make him feel better. Their fingers brush as Kurt reaches for his across the counter, and he looks up at Blaine, since he’s leaning on the counter for support, and Blaine’s eyes are so open and honest and for a moment, the air feels charged with something. Something is going to happen tonight, he can feel it - and he’s not the only one trying to make that happen.

They’re both on the same page and the thought of that makes Kurt even giddier with anticipation.

“We have to toast,” Kurt points out once their glasses are full, and Blaine bends down to lean on the counter too, so that they’re eye level.

“Well, we have to toast to you, Mr. … what’s your new title?”

“Social Media Assistant,” Kurt replies, and his his turn to duck bashfully, because the way Blaine’s looking at him with so much admiration, it’s too much for him to handle.

“To the best Social Media Assistant will ever see.” They clink their glasses and Kurt gets a warm fuzzy feeling inside instantly, but he knows it’s from Blaine’s words, not the wine. “You’re moving around better than when I saw you last.”

Just like that, it’s like they were never apart, launching into story after story of what was missed. Blaine helps Kurt move the food to the table and the conversation flows over dinner. Since they haven’t seen each other in a week and a half, there’s no shortage of things to talk about. It hits Kurt at some point, even though they haven’t acknowledged it - this is totally a date. There’s wine and flowers and good conversation and a good meal and somehow, things have shifted even though no one’s said anything. Kurt didn’t intend for this to be a date when he asked Blaine to meet him tonight, but that’s what it’s become.

Blaine does the dishes since Kurt cooked and he pours the rest of the wine into their glasses just as he’s finishing up. “Thank you,” he says softly after Blaine dries his hands on a towel, handing him his glass. He reaches for Blaine’s free hand and leads him to the couch, his stomach full of nervous butterflies and he wonders if Blaine feels the same way. He gives Blaine’s hand a gentle squeeze before letting go just in case.

They sit down and Kurt sets his wine on the coffee table while Blaine fidgets nervously with his. “Kurt,” he finally says, voice filled with emotion and desire and longing all rolled into one, and oh god, he actually is going to try to make a move - that’s how much he wants this.

Kurt plucks the wine glass from his hand and takes Blaine’s hands in his. “Blaine, I know, I’m getting there, I really am. Why do you think I wanted you to come here tonight? Oh -”

Suddenly, words don’t matter so much because Blaine’s eyes flicker just briefly to his lips and his own are parted ever so slightly and what has Kurt been thinking all night? The time for words is over. They’re both aware of what they mean to each other and it didn’t need to be spelled out. Isabelle was right, life is only complicated if you make it complicated, and he’s through making this more complicated than it needs to be.

Kurt leans closer into Blaine’s personal space and hears Blaine echo his oh. He trails his left hand up to the nape of Blaine’s neck, not pulling him closer, just to rest, comforting and safe and feels Blaine grip his right hand tightly, lacing their fingers together. Kurt hears Blaine take in a shuddering breath right before their lips meet, the soft slide of their lips against each other, the taste of sweet wine masking the taste of Blaine’s underneath, and Kurt wishes he could keep kissing Blaine until all he tastes is him. His heart is about to leap out of his chest and he wonders if Blaine can feel it since their torsos are so close they’re almost touching. Kurt’s right leg is folded underneath him and his left is leaning over the edge of the couch, foot planted on the hardwood floor, and if his toes weren’t all broken and taped together and had any range of motion, they’d be curling against the slanted wood through his sock. It’s just a kiss, a single kiss, but really, it’s so much more than that.

It’s a leap forward.

Kurt pulls back first, because he’s not entirely sure Blaine is breathing through his nose and he doesn’t want him to pass out, and if he thought the biggest grin he’d ever see Blaine Anderson make was when he bought bow ties, he had another thing coming. It’s contagious, and Kurt bites down on the corner of his lip to stop smiling so much before he stops himself because why, and looks away, just for a minute, because Blaine’s doing that wide-eyed adoration thing again. God, he is just really done for, isn’t he?

When he glances back at Blaine, smiling slyly himself, he brings down the hand resting on Blaine’s neck and places it over his heart to find it’s beating just as fast as his. “Kurt - I just - I’ve never -” and oh god, now he’s embarrassed; he thinks this isn’t normal.

“No, shh, shh. Mine is the same.” He brings his right hand to his own body, the one that’s still entwined with Blaine’s hand, and places it over his own heart, letting Blaine feel how much the kiss affected him too. Blaine’s smile returns and they sit there for a moment, hands planted on each other’s chests until things calm a bit, and Kurt says, “I thought it might be your first. That’s why I wanted to make it special.”

Blaine’s brow furrows slightly, looking at Kurt as if he’s lost his mind. “It was special. It didn’t matter where we were or what was going on. It was special because it was you.” It’s Blaine who initiates their second kiss, and Kurt’s not quite ready for it, letting out a soft gasp against Blaine’s lips right before they touch. His hands are still caught in between them, so he fists them in Blaine’s cardigan, pulling him imperceptibly closer. Blaine’s lips are moving a bit more swiftly this time; he’s less tentative, more sure, and Kurt snakes one of his hands up between them, cupping Blaine’s cheek softly. Blaine lets his head fall back when he does and Kurt takes the opportunity to kiss him deeper than before, lips parting slightly and Blaine follows suit.

Kurt pulls back again, letting out a low chuckle when they part, and moves his hand back to the nape of Blaine’s neck to press their foreheads together. “I am really, really sorry for being stupid. This is so much better,” he teases, and Blaine laughs along with him.

“Timing. Like you said. It all worked out.” Blaine’s eyebrows raise as if he just realizes something, and he picks up the two glasses of wine, handing Kurt his. “This is our second glass - well, our second glass together - and we haven’t started yet. We should toast again.”

“We already toasted to me, so we obviously have to toast to you,” Kurt quips, accepting his glass with a grin. Blaine starts to protest, but Kurt shakes his head. “No, this is what I was trying to say earlier, but I was too nervous. Blaine, ever since you came into my life almost three months ago, you’ve been a ray of sunshine, if you will. You’re always trying to brighten my day, and in New York, where everyone’s so self-centered, it was a welcome change. You’ve been such a good friend to me and that’s why I’ve been so hesitant to move forward with anything, because being your friend was better than not having you in my life at all.” Blaine smiles sadly at him at that, and reaches out for Kurt’s free hand with his own, keeping him grounded to the couch, a tangible connection between them.

“You once told me I’m a good person and - well, I still don’t know if that’s entirely true. But what is true that is you think it because when I’m with you, I am all the best parts of myself. You inspire that in me, and you also reminded me it’s stupid to live through life in fear of what might happen. Which is something I knew, but I obviously needed a reminder. So, yes, Blaine Anderson, I’d like to toast to you.”

He clinks their glasses together and Blaine’s eyes actually look a little watershed. “Now I feel silly for only toasting to your promotion,” he says before they sip, and Kurt shrugs after.

“Don’t feel silly. I had a plan and it took me a week and a half to actually say the things I’d planned to. That’s silly.”

They sip their wine some more, but Blaine can’t say another word before the loft door opens and Rachel walks in. “Kurt, sorry, I took as long as I could! I’ve been texting you to see if you needed more time - oh, hi Blaine,” she says when she sees both of them on the couch.

“Yeah, sorry, I haven’t been checking my phone,” Kurt says, and there’s no way she’s not going to be able to tell what went on tonight. Their cheeks are probably flushed from the wine and the kissing - their lips too, god, they were just kissing minutes earlier.

Sure enough, Rachel pauses, takes one look at them, and squeals, dropping her bags to the floor before climbing on the couch and hugging them both. “Finally,” she says with a sigh, smacking kisses to both of their cheeks. She climbs back off of them almost immediately and starts walking backwards towards her bed, giving them her crazy face, and Kurt pretty much wants to die. “I’m just going to retreat … to my corner. You guys pretend like I’m not here.”

Walls. Why did they not pick an apartment with walls?

Blaine does this sort of half-smile, half-worried expression, like he’s unsure what to do with full-out Rachel Berry crazy, and glances down at his watch, actually looking worried when he does. “Oh, gosh, when did it get so late? It’s after eleven.” He glances over at Kurt and bites his lip to keep from smiling full out, his lip that’s all wet and shiny and red from kissing Kurt and, okay, yes, maybe they haven’t looked at the time in a while. “I should get going. You shouldn’t show up tired to Vogue now that you’re an actual employee.”

“I suppose not,” Kurt concedes, swinging his right leg off the couch so he can stand up with both feet. “Let me walk you next door.”

“Goodnight, Rachel!” Blaine calls loudly, since Rachel is in bed pretending to be engrossed in her iPod, but Kurt knows nothing’s playing and she’s totally eavesdropping. Brat.

“Goodnight Blaine, who is now Kurt’s boyfriend!” she calls out cheerfully, and when they walk out onto the landing, Blaine leans up against the front door of 3B and tilts his head a little, grinning that sinful grin that leaves Kurt’s knees weak and says, “Boyfriend, huh? I like the sound of that.”

“I like that too,” Kurt admits, placing one last kiss against Blaine’s lips, soft and sweet, because as happy as he is, he doesn’t want to start making out with Blaine in the hallway. “I’m sorry about Rachel,” he says with a sigh once he pulls away. “She leaves first thing Wednesday to go home to Ohio for Thanksgiving for five days.”

Blaine’s eyebrow quirks. “So your loft will be Rachel-free for a few days? That’s some pretty good timing if you ask me.” He gives Kurt one last smile before unlocking the door and slipping inside. “Goodnight, Kurt.”

Blaine has a point. Timing indeed.


The next two days fly by because at work, Kurt’s getting ready to start his new role, and Tuesday night is spent helping Rachel franticly pack for her visit home. He is able to cut out early on Wednesday, and he’s happy for the blissful four day weekend that awaits him, especially because Blaine shares the same four day weekend as well. The church has extended aftercare hours on Wednesday and Friday, but Blaine is only putting in a full day Wednesday and taking Friday off to spend with Kurt.

He has no idea what they’re going to do all weekend aside from possibly some Black Friday shopping, and he figures they should spend part of it with Quinn, but still. The idea thrills him.

He has plans with Quinn to go shopping Wednesday night for their Thanksgiving meal while Blaine’s still at work. There’s already a turkey breast defrosting in their fridge, but they need to pick up everything else. They set up the shopping date forever ago, back before he even broke his toes, and yet now, for some reason he’s worried. Quinn’s the only family aside from Cooper Blaine has, and even if she’s not a blood relative, he’s somewhat worried about her reaction.

He’s not quite sure why he ever was, because the second Quinn opens the door to 3B, she pulls him in for a warm embrace, whispering in his ear, “We are so, so blessed to have you in our lives, Kurt Hummel, and I am so happy Blaine and you are finally together.”

That answers that.

They go out and buy far too much food for three people, but on the upside, no one will have to cook the rest of the weekend (or possibly into next week). They’re lugging all of their bags up the stairs (the downside of overpurchasing) when Blaine comes home just in time to help them with their wares. Quinn heads up the last set of stairs before them to get the door unlocked, now that she’s been alleviated from most of the heavy lifting, and Blaine nudges Kurt’s shoulder with his own. “Hey, stranger. Good day?” Blaine is smiling so wide, his teeth are showing, and Kurt Hummel is an idiot for not letting this happen sooner.

“Better now,” he replies before following Quinn up the stairs to get the food in the fridge.

They spend the rest of the night snuggling on the couch and watching movies with Quinn before Kurt finally forces himself to say goodnight and walk next door to the empty loft to go to bed. Blaine’s half asleep himself when he kisses him goodnight outside 3A, his eyelids fluttering shut, and Kurt has to push at his shoulder to send him back to his own bed.

Thursday he sleeps in with no alarms to wake him and he takes his time getting ready - he told Blaine and Quinn he wouldn’t be over until early afternoon, because he has an important call to make. He has to call his dad. So much has happened over the past few days - the promotion, Blaine - he figured it would be easier to save it all for today when he knew he’d be calling for a long chat anyway, but now it all seems like so much.

There’s also something he wants to ask, something that occurred to him when he was sitting with Blaine and Quinn last night. Something he hasn’t even asked them yet.

So, he calls and quickly talks to Carole and Finn before being handed off to Burt, who he tells everything, as succinctly as possible, before finally getting to his point. “So, I know it sucks I’m not there today, but at least it all paid off! I’ll definitely be there for Christmas now.”

“I know, Kurt, and we’re all so proud of you. We really are.” Burt’s voice is thick like it sometimes gets, not like he’s going to cry, because he rarely does, but Kurt knows there’s truth in his words.

“Anyway, I looked at flights this morning, and everything is really expensive, and then I was thinking … Quinn and Blaine will be here in the city all by themselves, so maybe instead of flying we could rent a car and drive back and they could stay with us? You know I’m a safe driver, Dad, and I haven’t said anything to them, so I’m not even sure they’ll want to come, but I know Christmas is going to be hard for them, and they’ve both been good to me and Rachel this year, so I thought I’d ask.”

“You sure it’s just so you’re not away from the new boyfriend for a few days?” Burt says with a snicker, but he knows his dad gets how serious this is. Burt knows Kurt has dated while he’s been away, but he’s barely mentioned more than a name to him, let alone brought someone home to meet him. “Yeah, yeah, of course. You know your friends have always been welcome here.”

He’s greeted later at the door to 3B with a fervent kiss from Blaine, along with a sheepish, “I wanted to make up from last night,” and luckily, Quinn is busy in the kitchen and not paying any attention to them. They cook together for hours, the three of them trading off, and Kurt’s pleased to learn both of them are quite handy in the kitchen, which is a lovely change from Rachel almost burning the building down the last time she attempted to cook herself. When they finally sit down to eat, Quinn says she’d like to say a prayer before they eat, and she takes Blaine’s hand across the table and Blaine holds his other out expectantly. Kurt takes it and sits quietly while Quinn speaks, because relationships are all about compromise right? (Plus, he really likes holding Blaine’s hand.)

“So … I have a proposition for you,” Kurt says, once they’ve started eating and they both look at him expectantly. “I don’t know what you two were thinking about doing for Christmas, but I was looking at plane tickets today, and they’re overpriced, of course, so I was thinking of renting a car and driving back to Ohio. And then I was talking to my dad today, and telling him how you guys were probably just going to stay here, and he said, the more the merrier … and I’d really love it if you kept me company on the drive. I mean, there are other reasons of course, but that drive is awful.”

Both of them have been staring at him the whole entire time, eyes wide, and Blaine finally breaks eye contact with him to glance back at Quinn. “I mean, if you guys want to talk about it, that’s fine, I just thought -”

“No,” Quinn says abruptly. “I mean - no, we don’t need to talk about it. Kurt, that’s more than generous and I can’t think of a better place to spend Christmas than in Ohio with you and your family.”

Blaine seems conflicted, as if he can’t decide whether or not to hug Quinn or Kurt first. Quinn wins out and as he’s hugging Quinn, Kurt decides they need to come up with a really good Christmas gift for her.


They go out early Black Friday and come back and nap in Kurt’s bed, cuddly and warm under too many blankets. “When you were in my bed, when you hurt your foot, I had to force myself to sit at the kitchen table,” Blaine confesses sleepily hours later, once they’ve woken up but still don’t have the energy to move. “Even the couch was too close. You were so … tactile,” he says, choosing his words carefully before laughing. Kurt mumbles at him to shut up and just nudges closer to him, placing a soft kiss against his the crease between his jaw and his neck. “I just knew if you tried to get me to lay down with you, I wouldn’t have had any willpower and I didn’t want you to do anything you’d regret.”

“I wouldn’t have regretted it,” Kurt replies, trailing his lips up to the corner of Blaine’s mouth for another kiss. Blaine shifts until their lips align and Kurt hums into the kiss, which is as slow and lazy as they feel. This is the closest they’ve been thus far, and Kurt’s content to keep it that way, kissing Blaine soft and leisurely for as long as possible, even if his body has other plans. He shifts again, rolling his hips away from Blaine so he doesn’t notice him growing hard, which was bound to happen sooner or later. They’ve been cuddling for hours, Blaine’s warm breath tickling his neck as they drifted in and out of sleep, and Kurt’s libido is only so strong.

Blaine’s phone vibrates with a text, which they ignore in favor for more kissing, until it vibrates again with a reminder. Kurt giggles against his mouth and tells him, “Just answer it so it’ll stop.”

Blaine sighs and picks up his phone from Kurt’s nightstand. “It’s Quinn. She wants to know if we want to go see a movie with her, but she totally understands if we’re too tired, which I think is code word for if we don’t want to go with her, we have an out.”

Kurt closes his eyes and smiles. “She’s too good to us. No, we should go.” He leans over to place one last kiss square on Blaine’s lips. “How about this, tomorrow night. You, me, and an actual planned date. Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect,” Blaine replies, typing out a response to Quinn as Kurt stretches his arms over his head, trying to wake himself up to go meet her.

The next day is as lazy as Thursday, sleeping in and taking time getting ready. Kurt does sneak out at some point to run to the florist on the corner to pick up flowers for Blaine and he’s glad he doesn’t run into him bringing them back.

When Blaine knocks on the door promptly at six, Kurt grabs the flowers anyway, even though the effect isn’t the same with him opening the door. Still, the look on Blaine’s face when he sees them is worth it. They go to an Italian place a few blocks over and Kurt tells Blaine stories of Breadstix and Blaine tells him about his mother’s lasagna, which he misses and feels stupid about because it was nothing special. They’re not even Italian.

Kurt hasn’t been using the crutches since his commute on Wednesday, and he uses that excuse to hold onto Blaine extra tight as they walk home. He’s pretty sure Blaine can see right through him, but says nothing. It’s chilly, and Blaine is warm, and he really shouldn’t need an excuse at all.

Once they get back to the apartment, Kurt removes his scarf and jacket and sits down on the couch, Blaine following suit. His laptop is already on the coffee table - he figured they could watch a TV show or a movie or something. “Do you want to watch something on the laptop?” he asks, and he tries not to laugh at the way Blaine blushes and stammers.

“I - uh - okay! Sure!”

Kurt regards him for a moment as he fidgets and finally says, “Oh my goodness, you want to make out, don’t you? I really have corrupted you.” Blaine stammers some more and Kurt rests his hand on top of both of Blaine’s to calm him. “It’s okay, I promise, come here.”

“I just really like kissing you,” Blaine whispers, and Kurt kisses him once, just barely touching their lips together, before pulling away and agreeing.

“I really like kissing you too,” he says, kissing him again, this time firmer, more insistent, and he finally says, “Blaine, if you want to slow down at all or if I get carried away, just let me know, okay?”

Blaine nods, his eyes trained on Kurt’s lips, and he looks so eager, Kurt feels obliged to make this amazing. They start out slow but the intensity quickly builds, Blaine letting out little gasps each time they break for air. “Do you want to lie down?” Kurt asks after a bit, and he doesn’t miss the way his stomach twists when Blaine’s voice comes out all scratchy when he answers in the affirmative.  It’s a bit of a mess, Blaine can’t figure out what to do with his arms, or his legs for that matter, but finally they get situated side by side, hips a safe distance away from each other so when the inevitable happens, no one freaks out.

“Hello again,” Kurt says softly, his own voice a bit hoarse. He gives Blaine a reassuring grin and reaches up to card a hand through the back of his hair, letting his fingernails run just above the nape of his neck where the gel is almost nonexistent. He can feel Blaine start to relax under his fingertips, nervous from the whole arms and legs situation, and he murmurs, “Don’t ever be worried about what I’m thinking, alright? Because the only thing I’m thinking is how happy I am to be with you.”

Blaine lets out a shaky breath as he nods and Kurt surges forward to kiss him then. Blaine’s left hand comes up to grip Kurt’s bicep, and when Kurt accidentally tugs at Blaine’s bottom lip with his own a little rougher than he intended, his grip becomes even tighter, which either means the move was really good or really bad. “Sorry,” Kurt whispers, just in case, but as soon as the word is out of his mouth, Blaine’s correcting him.

“No, that was - you could do that again. On purpose. If you wanted.” Blaine still sounds a little nervous, but he smiles at the end, so Kurt grins right back before reclaiming his mouth with his own, kissing him a few times before sucking on his bottom lip nice and hard so he doesn’t expect it and delighting at the groan that gets trapped in Blaine’s throat. That’s the first time he heard Blaine groan. He’s suddenly thankful that his hips are located far away from Blaine’s at the moment, because his cock is beginning to stir.

He starts kissing across Blaine’s jaw to give him a moment to catch his breath, which is a good plan from the way Blaine gasps when he does it. “This okay?” Kurt ghosts across his skin, lips catching as he moves from spot to spot.

“Oh, oh, so okay,” Blaine bites out, still breathing heavily, so Kurt takes a detour down his neck, which also proves to be okay from the way Blaine whines, “Oh, please don’t stop Kurt, please.” Blaine’s neck is extra sensitive it seems, and Kurt doesn’t spend too much time on any one spot, not wanting to send his boyfriend back next door to Quinn covered in marks. He’s not sure he’d ever live it down.

Blaine tilts his head back a smidge for easier access and Kurt nuzzles and licks and sucks and he knows he should move on, he should move back up to Blaine’s mouth, but the tiny, barely there gasps and moans coming from Blaine’s lips are intoxicating and he’s transfixed to the spot. His left foot starts to cramp, which it’s been doing since he stopped with the crutches, but he really can’t be bothered with silly things like that. He rolls his ankle, trying to work it out so they don’t have to stop, and instead, gets a shooting pain that sends his knee flying upward, straight into Blaine’s crotch.

He’s all set to apologize, head flying up and away from Blaine’s neck, when he realizes he didn’t hurt Blaine. On the contrary, his knee seemed to have provided the perfect amount of pressure to send Blaine over the edge. Blaine just came, and from the way he’s trying to hide his face, he’s totally mortified by it.

“Blaine,” Kurt says soothingly, wondering if he should try and comfort him more or give him space. “Blaine, honey, I am so, so sorry. My foot had a cramp and I was trying to work it out -”

“Can you just give me a minute, Kurt?” Blaine asks quietly, cutting him off. “And hope that I don’t die of embarrassment?”

“Yeah. I’ll just … go get some water.” He takes his time walking to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water, sipping it as he leans against the counter. He really hopes - oh god - what if Blaine is one of those type of Christians who think masturbation is a sin? What if he’s never touched himself before and this is the first time he’s ever come, aside from a wet dream or something?

Surely not. Blaine wanted to make out, after all.

Kurt grabs another bottle of water in case Blaine wants one and walks back over. He presses the bottle of water against Blaine’s hand as he sits on the edge of the couch, still giving Blaine space, and he takes it with a sigh. “I know it doesn’t seem like it to you, but everything is okay, I promise. I don’t think any differently of you other than I must have really been doing the right things to turn you on.” He offers Blaine a small smile as he tilts his head, and Blaine finally looks him in the eye.

“That neck thing … that neck thing is dangerous, Kurt.” Kurt ducks his head and laughs as Blaine takes another sip of water and he swears he can see the hint of a smile on the corners of his mouth.

Kurt purses his lips and sets his own bottle of water on the coffee table. “Here’s what I think we should do. Since you’re probably starting to get … physically uncomfortable in addition to emotionally uncomfortable, why don’t you go next door and take a shower and change into pajamas and take some more time? And then you can come back here and we’ll talk. Or, you can use our shower and I can give you something to wear, I just thought you’d want the space.”

Blaine regards his plan for a long time and finally says, “Can I use yours? I don’t think I can get away with going next door without explaining something to Quinn, and I really don’t want to deal with that right now.”

“Sure,” Kurt says with a smile before getting up to find Blaine something to wear. He’s rummaging through his underwear before he realizes that he has no clue what kind of underwear Blaine prefers, so he grabs him a pair of briefs and a pair of boxer briefs just in case. Blaine doesn’t strike him as a boxer wearer anyway, but if he is, he’s out of luck. “Here,” he says as he hands Blaine the pile of clothes once he’s back by the couch. “There’s, uh, underwear choices, I wasn’t sure. Take your time.”

Kurt waits until he hears the shower running to change into pajamas of his own and settling on the bed with his laptop, checking his email to keep himself busy while Blaine is in the shower. He doesn’t want to dwell on things or get lost in his head while Blaine’s in there. He’s in the middle of catching up on the fashion blogs he keeps track of when Blaine comes out, mumbling something about using some of Kurt’s hair products that he found under the sink, and Kurt tries to avert his eyes quickly after his eyes dart to the way the soft cotton pants he gave Blaine to wear sling low over his hips, because they really, really need to have a serious discussion right now.

“That’s fine,” Kurt says, patting the empty mattress next to where he is. “Come here,” he adds softly, waiting for Blaine to climb into bed before he asks, “Can I hug you now?”

Blaine nods, still not really looking Kurt in the eye as he sits next to him, and Kurt wraps his arms around his shoulders and back, pulling him into his chest and the crook of his arm. They sit in silence for a moment while Kurt rubs circles into Blaine’s back with his palm, and finally, he asks, “Do you mind if I ask you a potentially embarrassing question?”

Blaine laughs sharply and buries his face even further into Kurt’s chest. Kurt can smell his body wash and shampoo on Blaine’s skin, he’s so close. “It can’t get any more embarrassing, Kurt.”

“I just … don’t want to assume things, okay? Have you ever … touched yourself before?”

As soon as the words are out of Kurt’s mouth, Blaine’s groaning loudly against Kurt’s chest. “Yes. I mean, not since moving in with Quinn, which is probably my problem, especially since I’m around you all the time and especially now that I’m kissing you all the time. I used to have to wait until midnight so my parents wouldn’t catch me and that doesn’t exactly work here.”

“Well, see. There’s your problem. Mornings are your friend, Blaine.” Blaine groans again, face still nuzzled in the cotton of Kurt’s shirt, and Kurt tries to stop the grin from forming on his face.

“I just feel so stupid. You know so much about this stuff and I know nothing and stuff like this is just going to keep happening. I - I’m not a prude, Kurt I swear, I do want to do more than just kiss you eventually, but this happened so fast and it’s all kind of overwhelming right now.”

“Hey, stop that.” Kurt shifts them on the bed, pulling Blaine up beside him so he can see his face, tilting his chin up with a light touch of his fingers. “Please don’t feel stupid. You realize that a year ago, I was just as clueless as you? That I never had a real first kiss in high school? That I will never judge you for anything, because I’ve been there?”

Blaine’s silent for a while, taking in all of Kurt’s words, and Kurt knows the next thing out of his mouth could be pure stupidity, but he always tries to be as honest as possible with Blaine. “Would it help if I told you about the very few guys I’ve dated and what I’ve done with them? Who were nowhere near as wonderful as you, if we’re keeping track? So you can see I really don’t know all that much?”

Blaine climbs further up onto the pillows and regards Kurt for a moment before whispering an okay. Kurt takes a deep breath and gets more comfortable himself. “Bear with me, I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone all this before. Not even Rachel.” Blaine leans over and kisses Kurt once quickly, a promise that they will come out of this stronger. “Okay. So. Mark. I met Mark in the bakery last October. We had the same coffee order, and we dated for about six weeks. He was twenty-one and he had an apartment ten blocks away and we made out on his couch a lot.”

Kurt takes another shaky breath, because it’s not all inherently embarrassing, he’s not ashamed of anything per se, but god, he really hates dwelling on the past. Spelling everything out like a laundry list just makes him nervous for how Blaine is going to react. “He, ah, we um, jerked each other off a few times, and I’m sure I was extremely flustered the whole time I dated him, so this is why you really shouldn’t worry. I went home for Thanksgiving and when I came back, he wasn’t returning my calls or texts.”

“Oh, Kurt,” Blaine says with a sad expression, and Kurt squeezes his eyes shut.

“No, it’s … fine. The next one is sort of embarrassing, only looking back and telling you because I don’t do stuff like this, but I was still upset about Mark, and it was only a few weeks later, at the Vogue Christmas party, and there was free champagne everywhere. I ended up talking to this guy, Luke, who was a model from Argentina, and he asked if I wanted to get out of there because he had a hotel room close by. We made out forever and then he gave me a blow job, and I’m pretty sure he could tell it was my first one, because he wouldn’t let me reciprocate. He wouldn’t even let me get him off. He was really gracious about the whole thing, but I’m pretty sure he went back to the party after I left and found someone else. So, see?”

“He probably thought you were a model too at first. You’re as gorgeous as one to me,” Blaine says, picking up one of Kurt’s hands and kissing his fingertips. “You don’t have to keep telling me if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s fine. The other two are - fine. John was a NYADA sophomore that I met at this bar Rachel and I used to go to - well, Rachel still goes, I haven’t been going with her since we stopped dating. We dated for a few months in the spring and he was probably the only person I’d call a serious boyfriend. We - never did anything further than blowjobs either, and broke up right before the summer because he was moving back to Washington for a few months. We said we might try and pick things back up when he got back to the city, but I never really thought he was the one and he didn’t contact me and I had someone sleeping on my couch who was much, much more interesting.”

Kurt finally gets a grin out of Blaine at that. “I actually do feel a bit better now. I’m sorry if you don’t.” He looks up at Kurt from underneath his eyelashes and scrunches up his face in apology, and Kurt wonders if Blaine realizes how effective that face is. He could practically get away with murder. It’s a good thing Blaine has a conscience.

“I feel better because you feel better. How about we set up some ground rules, hmm?” Kurt suggests, snuggling closer to Blaine now that his storytelling is through. “We’ll keep our hands - and other body parts - above the belt until you tell me you’re comfortable with more and we’ll both be more conscious about cooling off, okay? And I’m fine with waiting as long as you want, I really am, I promise.”

“Promise?” Blaine repeats, and Kurt nods, sealing the promise with a kiss that doesn’t last too long because they both start giggling. “Hey,” he says when they finally break. “Who was the last one? You said there were two more.”

“Oh,” Kurt replies, blushing slightly at being caught off guard and brushing a wet curl from Blaine’s face. “That’s because Matt was completely forgettable. Someone at Vogue set me up with him over the summer and we went on three dates and there was just no spark. He was nice and sweet, there was just nothing there. What?” he asks, because Blaine is staring at him amusedly.

“Name them all for me. Oh, come on, humor me, Kurt.”

“Mark, Luke, John, Matt … oh my g- Blaine,” he groans instead, because whenever he has the urge to say oh my god, he just blurts out Blaine’s name instead, which he’s sure Blaine has caught onto, but hey, it’s the first thing that pops into his mind. “Isn’t that some … bible thing? I’ve never named them all before.”

“Yes,” Blaine replies, his mouth twitching into a smile. “I’m so sorry to have broken your streak. You could have had a Peter, or a Timothy, or ooh, a Titus might have been fun …”

“Stop,” Kurt says, laughing at Blaine’s absurdity as he wraps his arms around Blaine’s neck and pulls him close, cutting off his rambling by covering his mouth with his own. “I am quite glad you broke my streak, actually,” he says, turning serious, the words buzzing over Blaine’s lips like an affirmation of something bigger, brushing their lips together again to seal it into their skin.

Kurt pulls back just slightly, adding, “Stay,” before diving back in for one more kiss, and when Blaine asks, “Tonight?” he nods, but he means so much longer.