Just a little silliness because Lucie had to go and mention them cleaning up with Kurt’s monogrammed towels. Sorry about the lack of length and smut (that’s what he said).
They had come back to Kurt’s immediately after Rachel’s train left, knew that his parents would be out and that Finn would be crying alone in his truck to REO Speedwagon for at least an hour.
There wasn’t a need to rush anymore, not with Kurt staying put in Lima. But they did rush, they couldn’t not, not with the way Blaine arched under Kurt and the way Kurt dug his fingers into Blaine’s waist.
When they’re done, bodies heavy and eye lids drooping, Kurt rolls out of bed to grab a towel for clean up. He gets one that’s part of the set Blaine got him as a graduation gift, wetting the towel in the bathroom, dark red and a gold KH in the corner.
“I had to pay an extra twenty dollars to monogram that, you know,” Blaine informs him, muscles twitching as the cooling towel passes over his skin.
“That wasn’t necessary. I told you not to get me anything,” Kurt says. “And why monogrammed? I didn’t even know that was a thing anymore.” He finishes cleaning up Blaine’s stomach and drops the towel in the hamper.
“Oh sure, you can monogram anything,” Blaine says as they stand up and pick through their clothes to get dressed. “Stationary, of course, and blankets or rugs, but there are places online that will monogram anything.” Kurt just stares as Blaine happily continues, holding up a finger for each new object that he lists off. “Clothes and pillow cases seem to be pretty popular, and I’ve even seen a monogrammed toaster.”
“Blaine,” Kurt starts, watching as Blaine buttons up and straightens his cardigan covered with small red crustaceans. “When we move in together, please promise me there won’t be any monogrammed toasters.”
Blaine just laughs and pulls Kurt in for a quick peck on the lips. ”Well of course not, that’s just silly.” Kurt sighs in relief and Blaine continues, “but I already have our monogrammed throw pillows on hold at Sheets N Things.”
BLESS.
I feel certain that multiple fics like this already exist. I didn’t spend time looking for them, because this is not a masterpiece. This is a story about the boys of New Directions deciding who’s got the biggest dick, so fuck it. For the record, this is all sillygleekt’s fault. She is my co-creator here, and she started it with her appreciation for Kurt’s fic record as magnificent in the cock arena. Um. So to speak.
Vague spoilers for ‘Goodbye’, but we’re basically just rolling with it.
this is kind of the best thing ever
Title: Life and Times of Author B.A. Dalton (Masterpost)
Author: oncetwiceforevr (formerly Tara1031)
Word Count: 20,000+ wordsRating: PG-13
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine
Summary: Blaine Anderson (aka B.A. Dalton) is a writer from Los Angeles. Kurt Hummel changes him. (Aptly nicknamed the Writer!Blaine AU)
Author’s Notes: THANK YOU to Megan and Zoey for reading super early versions of this (it’s evolved a lot, definitely) and most importantly, Monica, who’s been nothing but supportive. Also any of you that stuck with me as I live-blogged writing this. Forever. I would also like to note I know very little about the publishing business. Carry on.
If you have any interest, my tumblr is here.
Preface / Part One / Part Two (NEW)/ Epilogue (NEW)
A/N: Why does my smut always end up all wordy?!
—
He doesn’t do this often. Part of him is surprised he’s managed to hold off this long.
He expected it to feel dirtier, too. Not shameful, just a bit wicked. And he supposes in the best of ways it does feel undeniably forbidden. Not the… masturbating part (god, there has to be a better word than that) but the Blaine part.
By this point he couldn’t possibly do it without thinking of Blaine.
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 25,000
Summary: Kurt has always known he’s different. It’s a journey to figure out what it means to be himself.
(Source: evarren, via furnicotti)
05.24.12 ♥ 163Title: Time Keeps On Slippin’
Author: Devonwood
Word Count: ~1050
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Sex. (brief mentions of breathplay, edging, rimming, felching, light bondage, light exhibitionism)
Summary: Kurt is pretty much insatiable, which is just fine with Blaine, because this summer they have plenty of time.
Author’s Notes: A tad bit outside my normal style, but it didn’t feel right to change it. Thanks to Ann for helping me with that bit! Title is from “Fly Like An Eagle” because I couldn’t stop myself.
A few days later, Kurt gets another letter. It’s not from NYADA, but the return postmark is from New York, so he opens it with shaking fingers and far too much hope.
Dear Mr. Hummel,
I hope that the letter of rejection you received doesn’t dim that indomitable spirit I saw in your audition last month. You were, and doubtlessly still are, a fantastic singer and a strong performer.
That said, we were unable to offer admission to more than one member of your graduating class. As you no doubt know, this is my first year as Dean here at the Academy, and I had some very difficult decisions to make. I apologize that you were not our final decision, but quite frankly, Mr. Hummel: you don’t need us.
I could talk for pages about your voice, which you know is a very special thing. You have a force of personality that shines— although some dance classes may come in handy. Man cannot live on high-kicks alone.
I am certain that, if it is what you truly want, you will end up here in New York. You will be a success, with or without NYADA. When you arrive, be sure to look me up— I have connections that may prove useful to you.
Yours sincerely,
Carmen Tibideaux
(via hedgerose)
A few days ago I posted that master list of my Burt stories and keelssss asked if there was a chance for any more Burt fic out of me before the end of the season. I never responded because (a) I am like that and (b) I really didn’t think so.
Oops?
An Early Morning Tour of Lima Ohio
It’s early when he heads out.
He doesn’t know exactly why he has to do this; he only knows that he’s been thinking about it for days. It’s been a busy week, filled with the kind of go-nowhere busyness that he’s starting to just recognize as ‘Congress at work in an election year’, and he’s glad to have made it back to Lima for a few days. He couldn’t have missed this, not for anything.
It’s the thing he misses most when he’s in DC: having a car. Two weekends ago he’d rented one and driven out of the city, just to get away for a day. He’d gone to Great Falls and walked around, had a look at the water and then leaned against the railing and watched the families. Spring had finally settled into the city and even early it was a mass of people, but Burt’s focus settled on one little boy. He couldn’t have been more than four, but he climbed the rocks with a singular purpose; he was going to get to the top. His mom stood behind him, one hand hovering just behind his butt, but every time she stepped closer he turned around and scowled and said, “Myself!” and she backed off, grinning and apologizing. Every time he scaled a new one he stopped, stood up and carefully dusted off his hands and clothes, grinned at her, and then turned around to face the next sheer climb, determination written across his face.
It made him grin and it made his heart hurt. He spent the rest of the afternoon driving farther into Virginia, wooded hills finally settling into rolling farmlands, until he almost felt like he was home. He had needed the GPS to make it back to the apartment, but that’s okay.
Today it hit me: there’s a lot of talk about which kids are coming back, but I’m pretty sure this is going to be Burt Hummel’s swan song. Let’s send him off in style.
This is the “wordplay adores Burt Hummel” master post. I’ve written more stories that he’s a character in - he shows up in my of the stuff I have written for Kurt & Blaine - but these are the ones that stick out in my head as having a significant part for Burt to play.
Good Judgment - rated PG-13 or R - published 2/24/2011 - “Kurt’s always had really good judgment in friends, but Burt’s not too sure about this Blaine kid.”
Kitchen Stories - rated PG - published 2/28/2011 - What Kurt and Burt leave behind when they move out of their old house
One Stitch at a Time - rated G - published 3/30/2011 - Carole teaches Kurt how to knit (included because the Burt in here is one that I love)
Finding A New Script - rated PG-13 - published 4/15/2011- The story of Kurt and Blaine’s first date. (included because there is more great Burt in here)
The Luckiest - rated NC-17 - published 9/4/2011 - A story about Kurt and Blaine, but there’s a conversation with Burt in Chapter Five that I really love, mostly because I really love him.
It’s Not Unusual - rated PG-13 - published 9/18/2011 - Burt and Carole have the weirdest kids
Adult Content - rated PG-13 to R - published 10/14/2011 - A crisis hits the Hummel-Hudson household
Kurt Hummel Takes a Bubble Bath #1 - rated G - published 11/3/2011 - What it says on the tin
Closed Door - rated R - published 11/16/2011 - “It hits him like a slap to the face, and it’s the simplest little things that bring it on, but once he sees it he can’t stop seeing it, either.”
Thank you, Burt. I’m going to miss you. I will always wish I had you on speeddial for truly excellent parenting advice. Now go kick ass in Washington, and you’re welcome for dinner anytime.
Burt Hummel is my faaaaa-aaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaavorite *sobs*
Media: Fan fiction
Title: Take It Like a Man (7/?)
Author: penguinutopia and idoltina
Betas: glitterdammerung, hedgerose, drblaine
Rating: NC-17
Genre: angst, AU, fluff, humor, romance, smut
Spoilers (if any): None
Warnings (if any): Language, sex, dub-con, references to homophobia and violence, mention of character death
Word Count: 6,680
Summary: A Legally Blonde AU. Blaine Anderson has it all. He’s a member of both the polo and fencing clubs, founder of the charity Songbirds in Schools, and the lead soloist of the university’s famous all-male a capella choir, the Warblers. In his senior year at UCLA, Blaine— a show choir major — wants nothing more than to be the future Mr. Blaine Anderson-Smythe. When Sebastian breaks up with Blaine instead of proposing and heads off to a more ‘serious’ life at Harvard Law, Blaine sets his sights on following the love of his life to Boston to win him back. But Harvard holds a lot more obstacles than Blaine anticipated: challenging coursework, one Santana Lopez, and an admittedly cute graduate by the name of Kurt Hummel.
Disclaimer: We don’t own Glee or Legally Blonde. We are not affiliated with Say Yes to the Dress.

I think this chapter is my favorite. do I say that every chapter? I DON’T CARE.
(also, actually read the warnings unlike everyone else, unless you want to be totally shocked at the end XD)
05.14.12 ♥ 71



